Carrots andd Walkers Part 1

From: Cheryl Baumgartner(C Baumgartner, Posted Date: Jan 29th, 2012

Kai watched the moth rise from the forest floor.  His Squawker crackled to life.

“There’s a big group of people in a clearing about 50 yards north of where you are.” Xev’s voice came from the device.  “Maybe they know why all the cities are empty.”

“The cities are most likely empty because of Lyekka, but I will find them and ask.” Kai said as he started off in the direction that Xev had indicated.


Daryl wasn’t exactly a happy camper right now.  Ever since his talk with Dale a week ago he had been uneasy about Shane.  The old man had told him about a couple of incidents that had Daryl worried, especially when Shane was at his back.  At least T-Dog had also come along.  The world has truly gone to hell, he thought, when you trusted a colored boy at your back and not a white man.  But then T-Dog had proven he was worthy of trust. He motioned his companions forward and pointed.

“What the hell? Is it some new kind of walker or what?” T-Dog asked.

“He’s awful pale.  Don’t look like anything we’ve seen before.” Shane added.

“Looks like Bambi gets a stay of execution today.  I’m not trying to get through that many walkers and Mr  Johnny Cash reject  definitely doesn’t belong in these woods.  When something is in the woods that is a threat, animals run away.  Trying to hunt anything right now is a waste of time.” Daryl said.

“And I don’t think the man in black is interested in walkers anymore.” T-Dog added as he pointed out the figure coming toward them with a determined stride.

“Shit!” Daryl said raising his bow and aiming at the man’s head as the man raised his arm in their direction.  “Get down!”

Kai had heard the conversation on the ridge.  Enhanced hearing was a major benefit, so he also heard the mechanical sounds that indicated carrot probes nearby. He fired his brace at the carrot just in time to catch the dart flying at his head.

Daryl quickly realized that whatever it was the man had fired, had flown by both he and T-Dog.  T-Dog turned around to check on Shane.  “What the hell?” Shane was nowhere to be found.

“Sorry bastard” Daryl muttered realizing that what Dale suspected was more than likely right.

“You would do better to fire your darts at the carrot probes.” The mystery man said calmly as he joined them.

“Who, what the hell are you?  And what the devil is a carrot probe?” T-Dog asked pointing his Glock at the figure.

“I am Kai, Last of the Brunnen G.” as he offered Daryl’s arrow back to him.

“I’m more interested in how you just walked through that pack of walkers like you’re out for a Sunday stroll.”  Daryl said warily taking the arrow.

“I am a Divine Assassin.  I am dead, I think your ‘walkers’ prefer their food alive.  Carrot probes also prefer their victims alive.” Kai said picking up the smashed probe.  “They were sent here to scout this world by Lyekka for living prey to eat.

There was another one.  Where is the other man who was with you?”

“Running like a bitch to save his own ass.” Daryl said as he finished resetting his bow and loading it.

“I do not think he will succeed.  The carrot probes preferred route of entry into the human body is to burrow in through the rectum.  The other one has most likely embedded itself in your companion’s rectum by now.  We need to find him.”



“I still say we should shoot him.” Glenn said pointing the rifle at Shane as Rick and Dale handcuffed him to the bed.

“Relax Glenn.   We’re not shooting Shane.” Rick said checking the cuffs to make sure they would not accidentally tighten.

“Easy for you to say.  His wasn’t licking you and wondering if soy sauce would make you taste better.” Glenn grumbled.

“Guys, they’re back.”  Lori said opening the door to admit Daryl, T-Dog and a stranger carrying what looked like a robotic head  into the room.

“So you can tell if he got prison raped by a carrot right?” Daryl asked.

“If you see an extra eye in the middle of his forehead you can tell.  Other than that we will need 790 here to tell us.   The important thing is finding out if it is there.” Kai answered.

“Call me senile but I haven’t a clue what you are talking about.” Dale said.

“Shane left took off and me and Daryl for the walkers” T-Dog said.

“And got a carrot jammed up his ass for his trouble.” Daryl finished.  “This is Kai, He says he is dead and he comes from the Light Universe, so I don’t want to hear anymore smart-assed remarks about chupacabras.”

“The carrot is definitely there. If it senses a threat it will vacate his body.” 790 replied.  “I suggest we block off all the exits in this room until we decide how we want to proceed from here.”